A World She'll Never Know
by Adelheid A
Summary: As Roy and Riza change the world in an era of peace, particularly for a little girl named Mae. A bit of a philosophical piece. Heavily implied royai.


**AN: Just as a warning, this fic isn't outwardly royai, rather it is the result of royai actually happening. It's based on a hypothetical child they will have and how she will never know what her parents did to bring the age of peace she lives in. It's like the younger generations born after chaos, will never know the world that their parents lived in. The new generation will take the peace for granted. Comments and criticism greatly appreciated! It's my first time writing this type of fanfic so expect quite a bit of mistakes.**

The child—to her parents belief and relief—was born in an era of peace. And this time, it was not a superficial respite, but a permanent and true peace. This, all the Amestrian higher ups, especially her parents, could be absolutely certain on. After all, they risked their lives to partake in the catalyst that forced this era to allow its manifestation.

There was one man who unfortunately never got to experience this era of true peace. He was the unfortunate sacrifice that showed the child's father that all was not as it seems. There was something lurking beneath the calm pond and whatever it was that killed the man, left only tiny ripples in it's wake.

But even tiny ripples can have a great after affects. And great after affects they had as it involved finding out that the thing lurking under the once quiet pond, were deep dark, ugly secrets. Naturally, it was time for a coup to eradicate these horrifying things and surely but violently, a true peace was bestowed upon the country.

At long last...

And so, because Brigadier General Hughes could never experience the pleasure of living in an era of certain respite, the parents had found a way for him to be a part of it. They thought it was natural to name the child after him: Mae.

Mae was absolutely a joy. She was lucky to be able to live in the present. It was almost as if the name was to make up for the fact that Hughes never experienced this shinning future and only the shinning future. Mae will do it for him.

The origin for her name pointed out an obvious godmother: Gracia Hughes. This relation lead to another obvious relation with Elysia Hughes, who acted as a very close sister towards the little Mae. She would go to visit her older sister and enjoy her company while her parents enjoyed her sister's mother's company. Generally the atmosphere was always warm and cheerful. However, on one particular visit, the four year old girl noticed that the adults were a bit solemn and even Elysia seemed a bit quiet. In retrospect, she would come to recognize that visits to sister Elysia's home around this year were usually quiet. She would often recall staring at a smooth rock slab (epitaph would take several years to make it into her vocabulary) that obviously had words on it. She would ask her father, her mother, her godmother and even Elyisa to read what it said, but each one of them would do their best to smile, trying not to let too much sadness seep through it.

She never quite understood the conversation the adults had (then again, she never really understood a lot of the things adults tend to do). As Mae and Elysia entertained each other in the living room, she could hear the adults talking in the kitchen.

"It will be seven years since the day tomorrow."

It was always after this line when Mae always felt that the air changed. The atmosphere in the usually warm house would become heavy and quiet. Gravity was working it's magic and pulling something down.

Mae was feeling particularly brave and asked, "seven years since what?" She wasn't asking anyone in particular and wanted to get in on the secret. Maybe the adults will enlighten her if not Elysia. However, Elysia was a bit surprised, she wasn't that much of an adult herself-a mere ten years old-yet she was taken aback that Mae had picked up on the detail.

"Since daddy and mommy got married?

Elysia smiled at her naivete. From the stories she has been told, she was no different. The day she saw her dear father buried in the ground and having no idea why, she always had hoped that her dear father would return home just like he had promised. It took time, but she finally understood that he wasn't coming back. Perhaps Elysia could spare Mae of the confusion.

"Mae, do you know who my daddy was?" Now it was Mae's turn to be to be taken aback as her only response was blinking twice. She had begun to notice a lot of odd things about the world around her but she had never thought of it.

"See that person in the photograph?" Elysia said pointing to an old picture on the side starred at the photo as she was in deep thought. Giving her a moment to allow it all sink in, Elysia proceeded with her explanation.

She didn't completely understand, but the man in the picture and her, although she has never met him had a connection.

* * *

><p>Her father was a President now. She watched him give his inauguration speech on the elevated podium surrounded by his loyal former subordinates, including her mother. They stood behind him, like they always did, watching his back. Except this time, they did it with a sense of accomplishment and almost bursting happiness. This was what mother and father have worked for all these years after all. Sitting in the front, next to Elysia, she could see everything so clearly. Mae was watching her father and felt proud. Everyone, especially her mother had always told her how he would change the country for the better.<p>

Frankly, she wasn't aware that the country needed changing.

* * *

><p>At the age of ten, she showed her mother a letter from the National Education Board on their decision to change the curriculum "to remove bias, racism and sexism and promote democratic ideas such as equality and truly teach our children to be exceptional Amestrian citizens". As her mother read the letter, Mae noticed her trademark subtle smile on her lips.<p>

"Mom, you look happy" she commented, knowing very well that the subtle smile though subtle in appearance, had a stronger message.

"Yes, when I was your age, our education system was very...militaristic." Riza returned with a much more widened smile.

"But aren't you and daddy apart of the army at some point?" she said with confusion apparent in her voice; confusion that comes from pure innocence.

Riza chuckled a bit and patted her back, "Things are about to change my dear. Just wait and see. In fact, they already have in many ways."

Mae frowned a little at her mother skillfully avoiding to answer directly, "Mom, you always say that."

Riza actually laughed out loud. Must be some adult joke, thought Mae.

* * *

><p>Her father and mother were spending another day at work working overtime. It was expected, her father was a very influential person and her mother was his right-hand woman. Luckily, she spent these sort of days at Aunt Gracia's house which also meant being in the pleasant company of Elysia. Elysia had recently finished secondary school exams so she had time to spare with her darling little sister. On these evenings, they would listen to Mae's new favourite program on the radio in which it taught about Xingese culture. Ever since trade agreements have been set up with the country, Amestrian people have developed an appetite for the Eastern cultures. Gracia would smile as she watched Mae explaining how to pronounce the Xingese words.<p>

Mae has been listening to this program for a year now, and Elysia has a lot of catching up do to.

* * *

><p>Teenagehood hormones did not fail to affect Mae. With it came the realizations that members of the same sex can be seen in a much rosier light . At school an Ishvalan exchange student had come by and managed to attract the attention of a lot of the boys at school (many of the girls mustered up the courage to ask her about her secret). Of course, as much as she wanted to be like her mother in these sorts of things and be immune to the Ishvalan Princess's charm, she could not resist. It dawned upon a bit later, especially after some teasing from Elysia that she had a little crush on that girl and it surprised her a bit it was a girl she had a crush on. (Elysia had caught her staring at the girl when she was at the student's festival. She didn't think Mae was one of those people...how strange your true sentiments about that kind of love comes out when you know someone close to be one of them.).<p>

Initially, after getting the hints from Elysia about Mae's preferences, her parents were a bit shocked as it was highly unexpected. Firstly the love interest was a girl and she was also Ishvalan! They laughed at their own old-fashioned ideas, oh how ironically they needed to keep up with the times. The next time her parents caught her sneaking a glance while dropping her of to school one day, her father teased her about a potential marriage: "Don't worry Mae! I'm working on legalizing these types of marriages!" Her reply with was, "Daaaaaad, you're thinking too far ahead! You're jumping the gun!" which she said with a very red face, shock and near breathlessness. Oh, how her parents smiled (and smirked, for Roy still did this) at the remark before slipping into a fit of roaring laughter.

Things were really _changing_ now! They actually were!

* * *

><p>One time, Mae had done the rude thing of not knocking on the door before entering the washroom at home. It was quite the chance that she forgot, because as she entered she saw her mother's bare back, covered in a tattoo and burns. The sight was rather shocking. For the fourteen years she had known her mother, she never knew she had that thing on her back. But something about it looked familiar. Was it a transmutation circle? And why where there burn marks? Her father wouldn't burn her mother's back would he? So many questions buzzed through her head in that small instant she saw it. Her mother turned around while she quickly covered her chest with the towel she was using to dry her hair. As Riza looked into her daughter's confused eyes, she knew she had some explaining to do. Roy and Riza had a lot of explaining to do. Maybe it was time she knew about the family secret. Mae would never know who her grandfather was, but maybe it was time to share.<p>

Many years later, they would pass on the legacy to her. They sat down with her and started, "Your mother and I have a secret to share. Not another person must know this. What you are about to receive can kill the masses as well as protect many. One day you might be able to use it yourself. " It was a promise.

* * *

><p>Another year up the education system meant that the projects and curriculum in general got a lot harder. Mae didn't complain, she liked to learn and history happened to be one of her favourite subjects. The textbooks had been replaced for this year, the education board finding the old textbook rather out-dated. The Ishval War, which was now renamed the Ishval Massacre, had a longer time in the classroom. Mae was given the the project to interview a veteran. Due to her parents first hand involvement, she managed to score an interview with the iconic priest Scar.<p>

But first things first, she had to do some reading to not sound like people of her generation who were often labelled as egotistical and selfish.

As she read, she thought, "how did anyone not notice?" then, "and what of that...Fuhrer?". Not that she never knew of the atrocity, she heard stories from her parents at times, when they felt they needed to share a lesson. But it was the interview that hit her right in the gut.

Thank goodness, Amestris is a democracy now. But with this thought, came the ugly realization, that her parents were killers and not the valiant heroes who did nothing but good all their lives. With that, the world was no longer black and white. Good people did bad things, bad people did good things. She was the daughter of killers, noble people, but killers all the same. And just like that, that was the end of the age of innocence.

"It's harsh," Uncle Ed said as he walked with Mae on the Central streets. She had just shared the interview with Scar. Mae had figured that she could talk to him about it, they were young or non-existent when the massacre happened.

"Felt the same way as you did." For a while, they walked down the street in silence when finally Mae found the strength to speak.

"My parents..." she began, "they told me they did horrible things, but I never really understood." Mae said cautiously, her voice sounded like it was in pain.

"Yeah, but your parents are changing it now. Your dad's been doing that for some time."

"Change. That's all you adults say."

* * *

><p>Sometimes Mae would visit Madame Christmas. The Madame these days, found herself a bit tired a little too easily but was still running the clandestine information pub. She wasn't getting any younger but she was a strong woman. As Mae did her alchemy homework on the bar bench, Christmas cleaned the bar with a rag. Mae seemed a bit distracted at some point but stared in her general direction towards the front. The Madame caught her absent minded staring at the drinks on the wall, "distracted my dear? Already thinking of drinking the big stuff I see."<p>

The sarcastic comment broke her day-dreaming. Mae turned around to explain herself

"I was just thinking..." Madame put her rag down and turned to her to listen.

"I read some history books recently, and my teachers kept saying that things were different then. I know it was different. But I can't really imagine it at all." Christmas chuckled a bit.

"That's because, you've never lived in it. To you, it's history, but for us, for me, it's my life."

* * *

><p>On a particular Take Your Kids to Work Day, Mae had opted to watch her parents work in the Presidential office. She sat at the couch and put her feet and the coffee table (a bad habit she had picked up from her father, to her mother's dismay) and enjoyed the show. Her father would be doing paperwork while occasionally receiving phone calls. Her mother was organizing more paper work by her desk while making sure her father wasn't of track by occasionally yelling, "Sir," for she still called him that at work, "I hope you're not slacking off. Wouldn't want to teach Mae any more bad habits." she warned dryly while writing down something. Roy got back to work and lightly laughed, "Of course, Hawkeye...or should I say mother?" because somethings never change. Mae laughed at the little joke with her father while her mother sighed mumbling, "you're your father's daughter, I'll give you that."<p>

Havoc, Breda, Fuery and Falman came into the room to inform the President that the pres conference was starting in a few minutes. With that, Roy and Riza gave Mae a little smile and left the bureau leaving the four men in the room to invite Mae along for lunch.

As they ate their lunch in the noisy cafeteria, Mae couldn't help but ask ,whether her parents were always like this. The men laughed and Havoc jovially patted her on the head with the response, "you have no idea!"

Mae frowned a little at the pat (she hate being treated as a child, she was fifteen now!) and didn't quite get the joke.

"What do you mean?"

"That's how they work in the office, always have been." Breda informed as he ate the sandwich.

"Never seen them apart though, then again there was that one time..." Falman added while inspecting a spoon.

"They trust each other so much, you've got great parents Mae" said Fuery while he smiled at her quietly.

"They would even die together if given the chance." Havoc said a bit more solemnly.

The air became a bit tense, as expected from saying a rather morbid thing. But dieing together? She knew her parents had a very unusual relationship, but she could never quite understand what lead up to something so irrational and histrionic. Whenever they told her, if they ever told her, it would be big yet insignificant things, never the times about how Riza went to Roy's apartment after Huges' death to break him out of his drunken stupor, or how Roy missed Huges very much and once cried on her shoulder. Or the time, she almost killed herself when she thought Roy was dead by the hands of a homonculous, the promise they made and kept on the first day she was under his command, the horrible nightmares they both often got in the night about blood and sand, the dreams they had, the moment she revealed the secrets to him, the times she asked him to burn her back, and how he it ended with shaking hands and a guilty conscious, the time her mother nearly died because of a stab through her throat and how her father held her so dearly, so closely and desperately, he held her as she felt herself slip through the world, how she had to point the gun on him as he was in his vengeful rage, how her father had lost her eyesight and her mother become his eyes, how Mae's great-grandpa Grumman (who she sadly did not meet) was always shipping them as a couple, how they desperately wanted to be by each's side and faraway from Bradley's clutches, or how after the promise day was over, she slept beside him and they embraced and slept in peace for once in a very very long time. These were the details that were never said in history books, nor by her parents. These were the details one obtained, the treasures, the memories, the secrets one obtained once but only after living in this world. Frankly, because Mae had never lived in it, she knew she was connected somehow, but it wasn't quite her world.

* * *

><p>Sometimes the adults around her, would share their stories and she loved to listen to them. As she heard these stories and no fully able to understand them, Mae could not categorize the growing feeling swelling within her chest. It would take a few more years before she could understand that there was there was a world before she even existed that she did not completely understand.<p>

* * *

><p>As she reads the updated history textbooks, she will learn of a world that she will never understand even if she had a close relation to it. This only became apparent as she visited the grave of a man she's never met. Later when she watches her parents die from the bullets of a firing squad, she will realize that now, she will never truly get to know it. The graves of the three are saying something that is now lost and archaic, but she can never quite understand it. And then finally she will think: This was a world that I'll never know.<p>

...

...

But wasn't that the point?

_Fin_

**AN: Thanks for reading this very very long one-shot. As for the name Mae, I think it does two things. It honours Maes as well as Mei Chang who is really important, considering Riza could have died without her. I also have to say, that the ideas for this was partly inspired by this seminar in uni on living in militaristic dictatorships. And thanks to AGENT kuma-chan for her expertise feedback on early versions.  
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